Happy and Sad at the same time.
It’s been a process in our house we have been walking thru for months. After the decision was made there were so many doubts. Back in May when we were at the college for TNT I could see Gods hand in this process. Actually when we came for a campus tour in January I knew this was the place for her. As we walked around the college campus I could feel Gods peace.
To me Trevecca feels like home- we know so many people there- it’s all about being a part of the Nazarene family.
It’s hard to explain to an outsider. There are so many people I trust who are apart of her next season it’s amazing.
She was accepted to Trevecca and undecided about her major…contemplating between Criminal Justice and Early Childhood Education. She was really running from her calling.
We encouraged her to reach out to the volleyball coach- she thought it was too late. She finally reached out and was placed on the Regional team.
At TNT as we sang Good Plans by Red Rocks Worship I saw her hit her knees. I saw her surrendering to Him. I had prayed over and over while she was on campus she would feel peace about her decision.
There has only been one time in her 18 years of life she spent time away from her family. That’s kind of a big deal and emotional shock at the same time.
At teen camp one night Jake Beard spoke on being called. You could see it on her face- hearing Gods voice again call to her. At the end of the service, she got up- she was in the front row. They brought leaders forward to pass out keys- as a symbol, she could have grabbed one from her chair if she stretched. Yet she didn’t, she got up and went to the back- to the bathroom. I remember saying out loud “That’s the wrong way!”
Shelby was next to me and said- “Where is she going?” I responded “to probably have a panic attack in the bathroom.” Shelby was up at once to go find her. She caught her in the middle of the aisle and they embraced for a long while. After forever Faith walked forward and dropped to her knees. She looked angry, kind of interesting the theme for the night was Rhyme without a reason and she was dressed as Post Malone-she had tattoos and braids.
Later she shared that she had answered the call but she was bitter and not happy about Him asking her to go into ministry. If you know what our family has walked thru in that regards, you would understand that very real feeling.
There will be many tears- there already have been. Frank and I are incredibly proud to get to be our kids parents- we enjoy being around them. Hearing about their days, watching them practice, driving them places and hanging out binge watching tv. It’s gonna be different- our house might not have everyone in it until Christmas. As they get older it gets harder and harder- yet I see them trying to be more intentional when they are together- interacting, playing games, doing trivia- making memories.
This is our 3rd child but the first to move- even temporarily out of the state. This is the first time experiencing all these feelings. This is the child we prayed for 6 years for. This was our blessing in the middle of the storm. This was our child God gave us after struggling for 6 years with miscarriages and lots of doubt. She was named Faith as a symbol of the faith we had to have in God to believe she would exist.
Now it’s that faith that will get us through leaving her at Trevecca. This is where He wants her. Not sure for how long but for right now- this feels right. When the doors open you walk thru them and God has been opening the doors and I pray he continues to do so.
I am happy and sad at the same time- is that a thing? Is that even possible? Happy and excited for her but sad for us…we no longer have the best seat in the house to her life- somehow we ended up in the nose bleed section.
Praying big prayers over my daughter as she leans into Him and learns more about how tough she really is. Watching her walk into what He has called for her is going to be the greatest thing to witness.